Throwback Thursday: How Not to Hit on A Girl

I wrote this post several years ago, pre-James of course. This was definitely the worst way a guy ever tried to hit on me. Well, once I was crossing the street on Campus Corner in college and a guy hung his head out the window and yelled "Nice kneecaps!" It was hilarious but not effective. Way better than this Wormy Dog jerk story. Enjoy.

Last night I went to the Wormy Dog in Oklahoma City with some friends from high-school. We were standing around, waiting for Reckless Kelly to take the stage when a guy walked over to me. He didn’t say a word, just slammed the bottom of his beer bottle on top of mine. Which, by the way, causes the beer to foam and pretty much explode out of the top. I had no idea how to respond. I pointed the beer at him so it wouldn’t get all over me. He put his thumb over the bottle to try to keep it from spewing and said “I didn’t realize you would be such a bad sport about it.” I just looked at him and asked why he thought it was a good idea to do that. He handed me another bottle and said it was his way of flirting. I took the beer, but refused to drink from it. It’s generally not a good idea to drink something that a random guy hands you, especially when he is a grade A creeper like this one. I walked away from him, and he followed me and said “Don’t be such a hag about it.” I just looked at him and said, “Excuse me? What did you just call me?” He was like, oh nothing. I was just trying to tell you that you are pretty.  I tried to explain to this guy that maybe acting like a third-grader isn’t the best way to get my attention. Maybe he should just say hi instead.  Throughout the evening he would pop up randomly and attempt to flirt – at least I think that’s what he was trying to do. When I asked him to leave me alone, he said fine, you’re not even that pretty. To which I responded, then why do you keep talking to me?

I don’t understand why guys think they need some complicated scheme to hit on a girl. If you think a girl is pretty or she catches your eye, just go say hi. Go introduce yourself and tell her that. Don’t hit her beer bottle, or rub your hand on her back and wrap your fingers in her hair like another guy did to me last night. Keep it simple. It will be much easier for both of you that way – and you might actually get the girl’s phone number instead of the brush off.

Sunday Social #7

Good morning! Today I'm linking up with Ashley and Neely again for the Sunday Social. I've started really looking forward to these Sunday posts, how about you? :)

1. What is the most difficult thing you've ever been through? I've been incredibly blessed to not have to go through too many difficult things in my life so far. I don't want to jinx it! So I'm going to say finishing the half-marathon for Compassion. It was definitely the most physically difficult thing I've ever done!

2. What was your best birthday? Oh dear, I do not like this question. I feel like my birthdays are so often disappointing! But I had some great parties as a kid. One year all my friends got super dress up and we had a fancy shmancy tea party! It was pretty awesome.

3. What has been your favorite thing you've done in your own city? I'm going to say OKC instead of our small town we live in for this one. And it isn't actually something I really did, for the past two years James has participated in the OKC Memorial Stair Climb. I've gone and taken pictures, and it is incredibly moving to watch these firefighters suit up in full gear and make the slow walk to the First National Bank building where they will climb 110 stairs in honor of the firefighters who perished on 9/11. While they were climbing, James's family and I walked through the OKC bombing memorial (if you live in OK, you should go). I know that's sort of a depressing thing to say, but it's made a bigger impact on me than any Thunder game or concert.

4. What is your idea of the perfect date night? Is it lame to say dinner and a movie? We so rarely do it, it's a total treat when we do!

5. Have you been to a blogging conference? If so, which one? If not, do you want to? I signed up for one a few years ago, but ended up selling my ticket. I would love to go to a blogging conference, I have a few in mind, but it'll have to be in 2015. (Any suggestions on which one I should choose?)

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! 

TBT: Date a Girl who Reads

This was originally published in March 2011. Back when I just knew there was no way I could ever be with a man who didn't love reading as much as I did. Turns out I married a man who quite possibly has never read a book for pleasure. Unless Field & Stream counts as a book! So while I still love reading, I know that some people don't. I don't understand why they don't, but that's ok. I'll read my books in his truck while he sets up deer stands :)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee. Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. She has to give it a shot somehow. Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series. If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype. You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or better yet, date a girl who writes. – Rosemary Urquico